EPISODE 7 –

Flloyd:                                    Thunder’s Mouth Theatre presents: Episode 7 of “Baked Off! Live, Laugh, loaves” and Julianna’s family and being both helpful and mysterious, Duncan doesn’t know if he’s coming or going, and Margot is determined to sort out Arthur whether he likes it or not. Enjoy!

SCENE 1 - ENGLAND -

ADE:                                       Jules? Jules honey.

JULIANNA:                            Yes, my love. What is it?

ADE::                                      How are you feeling?

Julianna:                                Fine thank you.  Why are you asking?

Ade:                                        I just want to know. Are you sure?

Julianna:                                I'm perfectly sure, thank you.  You know you don't have to keep checking up on me.

Ade:                                        I'm not. I'm just asking.

Julianna:                                Ok.  Sorry. But you really don't, you know.

Ade:                                        I know. So...

julianna:                                 So?

Ade:                                        It's your baking class tonight, isn't it?

JULIANNA:                            Ye-es... Is that alright?

ADE:                                       Yes of course!  And... Well that's just the thing. It's Angie, and she has been speaking with me and she can't come over this evening. So I'm going to be with Sammy. And you have nothing to worry about.

JULIANNA:                            Oh! oh? Oh that's good. Why can't she come?

ADE:                                       Oh she, she just said she has something she needs to do. She will tell you. You must phone her. Yes. And Samuel and me. We will have a father and son night out.

JULIANNA:                            Out? You're going out?

ADE:                                       Yes. We're going to the cinema.

JULIANNA:                            Oh, which one?

ADE:                                       The nearest one i can find.

JULIANNA:                            Well that'll be the Fact Picture House.

ADE:                                       Oh, yes. That one is good. I like that one. Yes. And Sammy likes their ice cream. Good.

JULIANNA: ::                        So what are you going to see?

ADE: :                                    Oh, I don't know... what was it now? Wonka! Yes. That is it. Wonka. We're going to see that one. He likes it. Wants to see it.

JULIANNA :                          Isn't there an age restriction on that?

ADE :                                      Oh, really? Oh, well. I will check do not worry. If we can't see that one. We will watch another one. There'll be something on his age group. I'm sure. So that's all organised. And you don't need to cook for us. We are going to dine out.

JULIANNA:                            Oh, okay. Right. Has he done his homework?

ADE:                                       Oh, yes. I have seen too that.

JULIANNA:                            Wow. That's impressive...

ADE:                                       Thank you.  We didn't want to disturb you, while you were working.

JULIANNA :                          Thank you! I thought it was quiet...  So, um... how did your meeting go with those, what was it?  Dutch people. Those people from the Netherlands.

ADE :                                      Oh, did I not tell you? It went very well. They are sending one of their people to come and look at my prototypes next week. Tuesday, I think.

JULIANNA :                          Oh! Oh Ade that's wonderful!

ADE:                                       Yes, I thought so too, isn't it? It's very good.

JULIANNA:                            And when did you find this out?

ADE:                                       Just now. But then Angelica rang me and I forgot. So I told you about her first.

JULIANNA:                            Oh, ok.

ADE:                                       Okay, so you must phone her.

JULIANNA:                            Yes.

ADE:                                       Good. We will get back to work, Samuel is helping me. And we'll see you before we go out Okay...

HE LEAVES THE ROOM

 JULIANNA:          Interesting....[PHONE TAPS. RINGS] Oh. You're not there.  Okay, I'm leaving a message. Call me back. What's going on? What are you doing? What's so important. I hope you're okay darling. Do call me... Don't make me worry about you all right? Bye for now. Bye.

SCENE 2 Edinburgh

HEATHER:                            So you don't need to worry about the rent. I don't need any more than what you're paying now, I just need to know that you'll be around for another 12 months.

DUNCAN:                              Oh.

HEATHER:                            Is that a problem?

DUNCAN:                              We-well.  I'm not sure--

HEATHER:                            Six months?  Could you commit for that.

DUNCAN:                              Well, yes. Actually. That would be really good.  If you're sure that's ok?  It's just that--

HEATHER:                            No you don't have to tell me. I'm no bothered. We can go on a rolling 6 month basis if that suits you.  [LAUGHS] I'm sure you'll be off at some stage, Malky says you're thinking of changing your career--

DUNCAN:                              It's just that I haven't made up my mind. Got a few ideas but, I just don't know.  I may never move. Ever!

PHONE RINGS

HEATHER:                            Hey, you'd better take that.  Might be the offer of a lifetime, eh? Just what you've been waiting for.

DUNCAN:                              Thanks Heather. I'll - I'll talk to you later.

HEATHER:                            Answer the phone, ya numpty. Later!

SHE LEAVES, DOOR SLAMS

DUNCAN:                              Hello?  Angelica?

ANGELICA:                           Yes, it's me. Is it ok to talk.  Are you busy? I don't want to interrupt you.

DUNCAN:                              No, not at all. go ahead. What's happening?  You ok? Is Jules ok??

ANGELICA:                           Oh yes, she's fine. Everything's ok.

DUNCAN:                              You on your way yet?

ANGELICA:                           Yes, we're just coming into Carlisle. Should get to Waverley around 8.

DUNCAN:                              Great.  Well I'll see you there. Did you find a place to stay near the college?

ANGELICA:                           Yes, couple of blocks away. So if you can just point me in the right direction of the taxi rank-

DUNCAN:                              Oh, we'll have time to catch a bite to eat first, if you want to, that is.

ANGELICA:                           I - yes, that would be great. I'm not required till midday tomorrow, so, you know, plenty of time.

DUNCAN:                              You nervous?

ANGELICA:                           I'm beyond nervous. And don't tell me not to be

DUNCAN:                              Wouldn't dream of it.  I'm sure it's good for you to be nervous as hell.

ANGELICA:                           I hope so. But don't you have the zoom class this evening?

DUNCAN:                              It's not till 10. Clocks have changed. Margot won't do it before 7 am her time, in Brisbane.

ANGELICA:                           Well that makes sense.  Ok

TRAIN STARTS UP. ANNOUNCEMENT.

DUNCAN:                              Sorry?  What was that?  Oh. She's gone.

SCENE 3 England, Julianna’s house

Julianna:                                [ON THE PHONE] Hi Angel, there you are!  Where are you, by the way?

Angelica:                                On the train.

Julianna:                                Yes I can hear that. But where are you going?

Angelica:                                Scotland.  I've got a job interview!

Julianna:                                Well that's exciting. What's the job?

Angelica:                                It's a Dance Studio, and they're looking for teachers who also want to develop their own projects. Can you believe it?

Julianna:                                Fantastic! That would be perfect for you!

Angelica:                                I know.  Too perfect.  I'll never get it.

Julianna:                                Oh my darling little Angel, of course you won't. They won't be looking for anyone as talented, experienced, wonderfully creative as you! What were you thinking?

Angelica:                                Exactly!

Julianna:                                So you are just traipsing up to darkest Scotland for fun. No!  For the thrill of being rejected. Am I right?

Angelica:                                Absolutely. You hit the nail on the head. I've decided to turn over a new leaf, and become addicted to rejection. Can't get enough of it.

Julianna:                                Taking Duncan's advice then?

Angelica:                                Who?

julianna:                                 Don't you play the innocent with me, young lady. Duncan McGill, your Mr Hottie.  Hey, whereabouts in Scotland are you going?

Angelica:                                Edinburgh.

Julianna:                                I see

Angelica:                                What?  Oh sorry darling, we're about to go through a tunnel--

Julianna:                                Oh you little madam! What are you up to?

SCENE 4 Brisbane, Edie’s garden.

BIRDS OF BRISBANE

margot:                                  Shall we sit outside?  How hot is it out there?

Edie:                                       Pretty warm.  We could try in the shade.

Margot:                                  Good thinking.  You grab the chairs, I'll bring the coffee.

Edie:                                       Don't you just love that Moreton Bay Fig?

Margot:                                  My best friend!  Didn't I tell you?

Edie:                                       What?

Margot:                                  When I was a child, there was a Moreton Bay Fig at the back of the flats where we lived, Up on Highgate Hill.  I used to sit under it when I came home from school, waiting for Mum to get back from work. And I'd read stories to it, tell it all my problems. Always gave me the best advice I ever had.

Edie:                                       Really?  What did it say?

Margot:                                  Absolutely nothing.

Edie:                                       Ah. I see what you mean.

Margot:                                  Here you are.  [CROCKERY]. How are the children getting on?

Edie:                                       Oh, you wouldn't believe it.  They just love the au pair. He's a very charming young man, and he's absolutely wonderful with them.

Margot:                                  How old is he?

Edie:                                       21 I think.

Margot:                                  And he's French?

Edie:                                       Swiss actually. It's his second job. He spent a year in the States, and then he wanted to see Australia, so there's this agency who find the families for them. They do lots of checks.

Margot:                                  Well, that's good to hear. So you're off the hook. Apart from proper Grandma time.

Edie:                                       So much better. I feel like I've had a second chance. I'm properly retired, and I can do so many things I've been waiting years to be able to do. 

Margot:                                  AND enjoy the grandchildren.

Edie:                                       Oh, so true. Last weekend, Robert was off to Mt Tambourine with some friends, and I went over for lunch on Sunday and it was so lovely, just being with them all, Sylvie and Mike both preparing the meal, and the children playing in the yard.

Margot:                                  How very civilised!

Edie:                                       Oh! Is Arthur ok?

Margot:                                  No he's not. I mean, he's well enough, but he definitely worried now, about the practice.  He's starting to think there's something going on with their finances.

Edie:                                       Has he asked William what's happening?

Margot:                                  He just won't do it! Hates confrontation, and I can't say I blame him. But he's got to do something.

Edie:                                       Hasn't he got an accountant?

Margot:                                  On leave. Gone to Bali for a month.

Edie:                                       If he can get hold of the books, my brother is an accountant.  He could take a look at them, I'm sure.

Margot:                                  Doesn't he live in Sydney?

Edie:                                       He does. But I'm sure he'd be able to help, see if they look alright, above board.

Margot:                                  You know what we've got to do?

Edie:                                       What's that?

Margot:                                  We've got to organise a raid.

Edie:                                       A raid?

Margot:                                  It's the only way.  We've got to help Arthur to get those books away from horrid Hilary, and get them to your brother in Sydney.

SCENE 5 ZOOM; GENERAL CHATTER

MARGOT:                             Alright everybody, settle down. Settle down. Mute yourselves please. I want to talk to you. Oh. Where's Duncan?  Isn't he coming today? Caro?

CAROLINE:                          I haven't heard anything, Margot. Maybe he's just late?

FREDDIE:                             Or forgotten.  Young people, you know. No sense of punctuality.

CAROLINE:                          Freddie, I don't think I've ever known anyone more punctual than Duncan. That's most unfair.

ENTRY ZOOM DING

FREDDIE AND CARO SPEAK TOGETHER

Ah! There he is!

FREDDIE:                             Well, what do I know? 

MARGOT:                             Mute please Freddie. Hello Duncan, welcome.

DUNCAN:                              Sorry I'm late. Got a bit caught up.

MARGOT:                             Not a problem. Just mute yourself for now, I want to talk to you all.  Without interruption.  Freddie.  Mute please.

FREDDIE:                             Oh, sorry.  There you are- [HE CUTS OFF]

MARGOT:                             Right then.  Now listen everybody.  We are at week 7 of this course, only one more week to go and I'm out of your lives-- aw, thanks for the sad faces. I guess you must be enjoying it.  [LAUGHS] and now I'm getting balloons, oh, and applause. Well, you're all very kind, but it ain't over yet. Not till the fat lady sings. That's a very old opera reference, totally inappropriate these days, I know.  What I wanted to say to you is this:  no matter how your baking went this week, you are all, in your own, very unique, highly individual ways, doing extremely well!  Now then, any questions?  Ah, there's Freddie got his hand up. Ok, Freddie, unmute yourself and go for it.

FREDDIE:                             I just wanted to point out that some of us are doing better than others.

MARGOT:                             Better? I don't think so.  I'd say, differently.  No two loaves will ever be the same. Where's Julianna?

Julianna:                                I'm here!

Margot:                                  Oh good. So. How did you get on with the wholemeal loaf?  Did you have a go?

julianna:                                 I did. I made two actually. The first one was - well, I thought it was pretty good. Much lighter than I'd expected, but still, it had such a lovely flavour. So I made another one the next day, to see if it was a fluke, aaaaannndddd...

Freddie:                                 Oh wow!  That looks amazing!

Duncan:                                 Well done, Jules!

Rosemary::                            How good is that! I want some!!

Margot:                                  Me too!

SCENE 6.  Brisbane

DOOR OPENS, CREAKING FLOORBOARD..

STAGE WHISPERS EVERYBODY!

ARTHUR:                              Sssshhhhhh! Margot!

MARGOT:                             Shush yourself. Why don't you get those floorboards fixed?

EDIE:                                      Ouch!!  Where's the light switch.

MARGOT:                             NO! Don't put the light on. And shut the door.

DOOR SHUTS AND CLICKS

EDIE:                                      But we can't see anything? How are you going to find what you're looking for without the light on.

MARGOT:                             Arthur's got a torch, haven't you?

ARTHUR:                              No.  Nobody said anything about a torch.

MARGOT:                             Well how are we supposed to find anything. Edie's right you know.

ARTHUR:                              Put the light on. Here! [CLICK]

MARGOT:                             Oh great! So what if somebody notices? From the street? What if they call the police?

ARTHUR:                              I have a perfect right to be here, Margot. I own the flipping building.

MARGOT:                             Then why are we creeping in at the dead of night?

ARTHUR:                              That was your idea.

MARGOT:                             No. You said Hilary would never let you see the books! Always some excuse.  So this is the only way.

EDIE:                                      Oh come on you two. Stop bickering.  We're here now, let's just get them and get out of here.

MARGOT:                             Here, use my phone torch. 

EDIE:                                      Well that's something.

ARTHUR:                              Come on, they'll be in the back office.

MARGOT:                             Marvellous. Lead the way.

ARTHUR:                              Well shine that thing so I can see where I'm going

EDIE:                                      Oh my goodness....

ARTHUR:                              Here!  I found the filing cabinet.

MARGOT:                             Good!

ARTHUR:                              It's locked.

MARGOT:                             Well who's got the key?

ARTHUR:                              Hilary, I suppose.

MARGOT:                             Hilary!  Where's her desk?

ARTHUR:                              She doesn''t have a desk. Just the front desk.

MARGOT:                             And then what? I suppose she takes the key home with her at night?

DOOR OPEN

RAMAN:                                Hello? 

EVERYBODY SCREAMS

RAMAN:                                (FRIGHTENED0 What is it?  Dr Brownlow? Ms Parensky? Are you alright?

EDIE:                                      They are absolutely fine, thank you Dr Gujral.

ARTHUR:                              What are you doing here at this time of night?

RAMAN:                                Oh, I am so sorry. I was just finishing up some paperwork. I've been so busy I just haven't had time. I am so sorry.

ARTHUR:                              Oh do stop apologising Raman! Nothing to be sorry for. Good man.  Good to know you're keeping on top of it?

RAMAN:                                Is that right? You don't mind me working here after hours?  It's just so peaceful, I can do it much more quickly.

ARTHUR:                              Of course, that makes perfect sense. Don't let us disturb you. You just keep on, .. keeping on... doing whatever

RAMAN:                                Thank you so much Dr Brownlow. I'm sorry-

ARTHUR:                              Uh-uh!  No more apologies. And please, Raman, please call me Arthur.

RAMAN:                                Of course, Dr Brown- Arthur, yes of course.

MARGOT:                             Raman?

RAMAN:                                Yes Ms Parensky.

MARGOT:                             How long have you been here?

RAMAN:                                Here? In this practice?

MARGOT:                             Yes how long have you been working here?

RAMAN:                                About... 18 months I think.  I was the locum for six months, and then for one year I have been a full partner! Dr Brownlow - I mean Arthur, has been very kind to me.

MARGOT:                             And I'm pretty sure you have been very useful to him. Am I right..

ARTHUR:                              Damn right he has.

RAMAN:                                I hope so.

MARGOT:                             So Raman. Tell me something.

RAMAN:                                Of course. Anything..

MARGOT:                             Where is the key to the filing cabinet?

RAMAN:                                Oh. Here. Here is mine. Do you want to borrow it?

ARTHUR:                              My my my.  Yes indeed I would like to 'borrow' it, Raman. Thank you very much. 

RAMAN:                                You don't have one yourself?  Did you lose it?

MARGOT:                             He never had one, Raman.  I guess Hilary just never thought to give him one.

RAMAN:                                But that cannot be right. Dr B - Arthur, is the senior partner.  Of course he should have one.  You must keep mine. Or, I shall have a copy made for you.

MARGOT:                             That's very thoughtful of you Raman.  But - please forgive me if you find this awkward, but can you tell us, just between you and me, and Arthur

ARTHUR:                              And Edie!

MARGOT:                             Of course, and Edie. Can you tell us why, in your opinion, it might be, that Hilary didn't want Arthur to have a key to the filing cabinet?  Just, any thoughts you might have on the subject?

ARTHUR:                              Now Margot, that's a bit-

RAMAN:                                It is so interesting that you should ask that, Ms Parensky.

MARGOT:                             Oh! Margot, please!!

RAMAN:                                Oh . Thank you so much, that is very kind of you.  Margot.. Well, the thing is, to be perfectly honest with you, I have noticed that Hilary and Dr Askew seem to undertake certain things around the practice without - necessarily - having discussed them in our regular meetings. And when I mentioned this to them, they told me it was because you, Arthur, have not been well, and they didn't want to worry you.  So...

MARGOT:                             Of course. Well that makes a lot of sense, doesn't it, Arthur?  They are just thinking of your well-being.

RAMAN:                                That is what I thought.. Although...

ARTHUR:                              Although?

EDIE:                                      Come on Raman.  Although what?

RAMAN:                                Although I did not notice that Arthur seemed unwell at all. So it did seem strange to me. But I did notice all the extra patients that I was seeing, mostly Arthur's regular patients. Have you been unwell?

ARTHUR:                              No I b - bleedingly well haven't!  Nothing wrong with me. Those b-

MARGOT:                             All right, settle down now.  We get the picture.  Thank you Raman.  We really appreciate your honesty.  Not your problem!  You've both been hoodwinked by those two. And it has to stop.

EDIE:                                      Well can we get those files now, and get out of here?

ARTHUR:                              Of course. Thanks for the key, Raman. I'll take it from here. But don't go back to work, go home to your family.  And let me know next time you are so overloaded with paperwork.  I bet you've been lumbered with Willy's stuff as well, haven't you?

RAMAN:                                Well....

ARTHUR:                              'nough said.  Leave it with me..  Get along, and give my best to your wife.

RAMAN:                                I shall do. She will be very pleased. Good night.  Good night.

MARGOT:                             AND EDIE. Good night!  (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)

ARTHUR:                              Right now. Here we go, into the cavern of despair, otherwise known as my accounting records.

FILING CABINET OPENING.

FLLOYD:                               That was “Two Way Stretch - and Fold” yet another cheeky film reference punning on bread making terms. You heard: Tayo Aluko as Ade, Erika Sanderson as Julianna, Wendy Lap as Heather, Christopher McDougall as Duncan, Flloyd Kennedy as Margot and Edie, Wendy Lap as Rosemary, Roy R Carruthers as Freddie, Andrea Richardson as Caroline, Rob Pensalfini as Arthur and introducing Piyush Agarwal as Raman Gujral. Stick around next week for Episode 8, the series finale!  Please help us to spread the word to a wider audience, just tell you friends to go to bakedoffpodcast.com where they’ll find links to all their favourite podcasting apps. Thanks to all of our generous donors, helping to provide a small fee to all of the actors who have shared their time and talents so generously, as well as our musical impresario, John T La Barbera, who composed and arranged all the the music through the whole series.  And please, check out the Fable and Folly sponsors at fableandfolly.com.  We couldn’t do it without their support.  Thanks for listening. Stay safe.